Relationship Advice

Ok, so I promised to give out some relationship advice...

First of all, there's a saying that I like to use when couples fight, and look for advice...it is this: "Don't go to bed angry." The saying means this: if you have a fight with your significant other, get it resolved ASAP. Fighting is like inflicting a wound on yourself and the other person. If you go to bed angry, then you are letting the anger fester inside you, and just like a sore, it will become a parasite to your soul. The more you think about it, and stay angry, the worse things will seem, and the worse they will eventually become.

If you are one of those prideful people that think the other person should apologize first (for whatever silly reason...ie. "they started it", "he/she should be the bigger person", etc.), I have something to say that you might find a little harsh. But keep reading anyway. :) Get over yourself. As my wise mother would say "Take the high road". To "take the high road" means that you will be the bigger person, and apologize first. Or when confronted with an insult, you just let it roll off your back. DO NOT (let me repeat this, for it is important) DO NOT (one more time...) DO NOT hold onto insults, or whatever other mean things people might say. It's not worth it. I promise that if you will let it go, you will be SO MUCH HAPPIER!! Holding onto insults is like holding onto a hot coal. The longer you hold onto it, the more damaged YOU become. The people who insult you might do it on accident, or on purpose...however, they usually move on pretty quickly, and forget about it. You should do the same.

Pretend that you are wearing a rubber duck suit. Insults are like drops of water. Let them roll off like the little insignificant drops of rain they are.

My next piece of advice is to learn to compromise. Relationships are all about give and take. The more you give of yourself (time especially), the happier you will be. Don't think so much about the take...just give of yourself. Life will be better. :)

Watch for red flags. Red flag examples: If he/she abuses you (physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc.), if he/she is always in "poor me, woe is me, control drama" mode, if they are disrespectful to their Mother (for guys) or Father (for girls) (disrespect for the parent of the opposite sex is a big sign of how they will treat you in the future), other big things that might bug you (leaving clothes everywhere, uncleanliness, B.O., swearing, drinking, smoking, drugs, etc.). You can work through the small things, but these are the big things that you need to look out for.

Ok....the big one....

Cheating. If you're thinking about cheating on your significant other, DON'T. If you want out of the relationship, then get out. If you are married and looking at people of the opposite sex that are not your spouse, STOP! Do more things with your spouse, and STOP looking at others. You married that person for a reason! Out of all the people you could have married, you chose THAT person. Remember that reason, and STOP looking at people of the opposite sex that you aren't married to!
If you suspect your sig. other of cheating, confront them. Look for signs that they are lying, you should know this person well, and should be able to tell if they are lying or not. If you don't know the signs of lying, look them up on the Internet! Simply ask them, pluck up the courage, and just do it. If they try to avoid the question ("How could you ask me such a thing?" etc.), ask again until you get a straight answer. Look them in the eye. Most people cannot look another in the eye and lie, straight to the others face. Chances are, you will get an honest answer (whether you like the answer or not depends on the case).

I think those are the big ones that I'd like to leave you with right now. :)
Please remember that each case is different. If you have questions, please feel free to contact me on the comments section of my blog. :)

~A Friend